Day 14

that day you asked for boundaries.

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I’m in my feelings today. Didn’t get any sleep last night. I was brooding. Lelo said “you need to acknowledge your feelings, even to yourself”.

I feel sore. My chest is sore. I want to hide from myself and what comes with me being me.

Today is not a good day and I could do with a hug.

So if you’re gonna hurt me, why don’t you hurt me a little bit more. Song lyrics.

And it’s times like this and it’s days like this. It’s been a long time coming but I’m falling short. Song lyrics.

The word sadness seems to have passed through meaning “heavy” and “weary, tired of” before emerging as unhappy.

I am a weight today. On myself and him. I am weary. Weary of feeling from so far away.

We’re on hold. Long distance takes its toll. Song lyrics.

Hahaha – Lapsley (Long Way Home) – this album is fucking with me.

You can only beat what’s in front of you. What about all the little things that crop up in between. You can only beat what’s in front of you. The small steps don’t seem to carry us far.

I’m in my feels today.

Hey kiddo.

Yeah?

It’ll pass.

Does anything last? Happy moments, followed by nothing moments, followed by unhappy moments, followed by scared moments. Washing machine cycle – when it ends are we really any different? Cause we just get thrown back in.

2551 km. Uncertainty. Weariness. Longing. Certainty. Sureness. Laughter. Sharing. Space. Distance. Sharing distance. The one thing we have in common.

Distance. Distress. Downcast.The Dumps. The Blues. Bummed.

 

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