The palm of my right hand is aching. From shoveling. The technical term is “tilling”. I think I’ve started something. Something real. I wonder what I’ll have to say for myself 6 months from now.
What’s happening Nambahu? Use your words.
Well, ever since I moved back home, it’s been playing on my mind that this house could do with a garden. We have an abundance of open space and it’s more than a little bit ugly (in my opinion). I spent most of 2016 feeling like a caged rodent. Unable to furry back to my humid den where everything made sense and nothing was so serious it couldn’t be smoked away.
I graduated from college, moved back home and felt trapped. From being an independent free thing to a tethered to the ground thing.
Anyway, my bones have settled to the ground. I still don’t belong here, not really. But I’m not cutting my legs off in an attempt to escape.
There is a point to all of this and when I leave again, this piece of internet will be the record of my time here. That’s progress. I feel accountable to myself, I don’t want to sulk anymore.
So – what do all frustrated right brained people do? They make stuff. I assume. Cause that’s I’m doing. Hence the aching palm.
This attempt at “doing something worthwhile” has been met with predictable opposition. Daddy. He says it won’t work and that whatever I’m doing will be fruitless. Ouch, considering the guava plant I’m rehabilitating. No guavas.
If I take it to heart, as he wishes I would that would mean taking it for a fact that the guava tree will not grow. That there cannot be a row of onions, tomatoes and cucumbers. That cabbage and spinach and lettuce have no place in our soil. That green things cannot flourish, no matter how hard I try. That I may as well quit now.
Sorry Daddy. There will be guavas.
Why, why, why. I don’t know why. Not with words.
That’s a lie. I do know why.
Why? Because it doesn’t have to be the way it is. That’s why. The front yard doesn’t have to be barren. That’s why. It’s not necessary. It’s not a law, or an edict or the natural state of things. There can be more so why not let it?